Jack squeezed his mother-in-law’s parrot with both hands.  Its tiny heart beat like mad, and its wings strained against his fingers. 

"Set me free!" the parrot squawked.  "Please?"  Its beady black eyes pleaded with him.  

"Sorry, buddy," Jack said.  "My wife would kill me if I lost her mom’s bird." 

"I would rather die than stay here." 

Jack rolled his eyes and stuffed the bird back in its cage.  When he got home from pet sitting, he asked his wife, "Who taught your mom’s parrot to talk?"

"What are you talking about?" she said.  "That species of parrot can’t talk."